A wise woman taught me to love, and to love hard at every chance. She was right, she loved me and she taught me that no matter the loss that may be imminently waiting around the next turn in life, that loving hard is worth it. That wise woman was my grandmother...she and I had a bond like no other and we loved hard until she took her final breath. That was my first real experience with loss and the first time that I felt the loss that comes with loving someone so deeply. I have had many losses since then, and I have loved each of those people or animals hard and while I felt sorrow at each loss, the love was so worth it. I was raised in a family who loves hard and tells each other at every chance. We have dysfunction like any family but till this day we love and tell each other all the time. I was raised that family is the most important, that if your sister has a swim meet or a track meet we all go to cheer and support, that if there is a family day at college we all drive 8+ hours to be there because we are family. It's special to have that kind of love, to be able to say it out loud. My sisters and I were in the hospital room for all our babies being born...showing support from minute one of life and loving each other's children hard like they were our own. We love each other's spouses like that too...family is the most important and loving hard is worth it, ALWAYS. Love lifts us; it keeps us hopeful and makes us feel like we can conquer the hightest mountain.
Sometimes when bad things happen, illness, loss, death...we lose faith, we want to put up our guard, we are afraid to love, to have our hearts naked and exposed...we feel like we cannot trust, that it will hurt too much. But our hearts are brave and strong, our hearts are wise and they will keep loving. Life cannot promise us forever, there are no guarantees, only today; anything beyond this moment is an unknown.
Someone asked me recently if I was angry about the turn life is taking. No, I responded...I am not angry, I have never felt anger about ALS. I have felt fear, but I know fear comes from the unknown, from what might be but is not yet. I know how hard I love and I know that my love is strong, we are here now in this moment and we can be wide open with how we love. I will not hide from fear, I face it and I was taught very early that loving hard is worth it. Nothing not even death can take that love from us, it is present in our hearts, in our memories, it will continue until the last breath that we take and even after. I continue to love those that I have lost...they are with me part of who I am. I miss my grandmother even after 15 years, but she is part of who I am, who I have become and my life would be very different without our love. ALS cannot change how hard I love, Bert and I love wide open we always have even before ALS and we always will even when we part. I love my family and I tell them, I teach my children to tell the people they love and to love hard.
Bert's Uncle Johnny passed away yesterday unexpectedly at the age of 55. I feel loss and sorrow that comes with love, but I know that he loved hard and that his wife, his girls, and his grandchildren love hard. That love is not gone with death, it is present in us, his family, everyone who loved him is changed because of that love. So...even with the sadness and loss, it was worth it.
Love hard...everyday, love openly, show it, say it, and be grateful that you have it; whether it be for a moment or a life time, it's worth it. Life begins and it comes to an end, no one is sure of how long or what path it will take; however, if you're here you have the opportunity to live and to love and it's never too late.
I have faith; I have no energy for fear or anger. Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, Cancer, disease, accidents, old age...nothing can change that I have been given this life, a gift from God and I have loved in this life, and I will continue to love and love hard because it's so worth it.
Never ever waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
xoxo Jennifer
Sometimes when bad things happen, illness, loss, death...we lose faith, we want to put up our guard, we are afraid to love, to have our hearts naked and exposed...we feel like we cannot trust, that it will hurt too much. But our hearts are brave and strong, our hearts are wise and they will keep loving. Life cannot promise us forever, there are no guarantees, only today; anything beyond this moment is an unknown.
Someone asked me recently if I was angry about the turn life is taking. No, I responded...I am not angry, I have never felt anger about ALS. I have felt fear, but I know fear comes from the unknown, from what might be but is not yet. I know how hard I love and I know that my love is strong, we are here now in this moment and we can be wide open with how we love. I will not hide from fear, I face it and I was taught very early that loving hard is worth it. Nothing not even death can take that love from us, it is present in our hearts, in our memories, it will continue until the last breath that we take and even after. I continue to love those that I have lost...they are with me part of who I am. I miss my grandmother even after 15 years, but she is part of who I am, who I have become and my life would be very different without our love. ALS cannot change how hard I love, Bert and I love wide open we always have even before ALS and we always will even when we part. I love my family and I tell them, I teach my children to tell the people they love and to love hard.
Bert's Uncle Johnny passed away yesterday unexpectedly at the age of 55. I feel loss and sorrow that comes with love, but I know that he loved hard and that his wife, his girls, and his grandchildren love hard. That love is not gone with death, it is present in us, his family, everyone who loved him is changed because of that love. So...even with the sadness and loss, it was worth it.
Love hard...everyday, love openly, show it, say it, and be grateful that you have it; whether it be for a moment or a life time, it's worth it. Life begins and it comes to an end, no one is sure of how long or what path it will take; however, if you're here you have the opportunity to live and to love and it's never too late.
I have faith; I have no energy for fear or anger. Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, Cancer, disease, accidents, old age...nothing can change that I have been given this life, a gift from God and I have loved in this life, and I will continue to love and love hard because it's so worth it.
Never ever waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
xoxo Jennifer
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