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  • Bert H. Lange 4.10.70 ~ 1.23.21

Best Day Ever

6/6/2014

3 Comments

 
It's my anniversary, and I am happy, my husband and I love each other, we have for the 16 years we have been married and the five before that...I love my children, I love my life and I am genuinely happy and grateful. I had the best anniversary night, I came home from work with presents for my guy...two classy rollator walkers, one all terrain and the other perfect for when he takes his drink and snacks to the T.V. room, and a manual wheelchair.  Bert was willing to at least look at them and try them out, he had to admit that they worked pretty good.  Happy Anniversary babe!  Then I helped him fling his spastic leg over his bike and he road for an hour. While Bert was riding his trainer, my parents and little niece Char came to see me and they brought anniversary presents...a pretty butterfly bush, a star for my new covered porch, and some wine assessories. My little niece jumped on the trampoline with Alex, played basketball with grandpa and Alex in the driveway, ate the marshmellows out of the Lucky Charms, kissed the dogs, and played peak a boo.  I helped Bert off the bike all sweaty and happy after his ride.  My little niece gave him a high five.  When our visitors left, we mowed the lawn.  I was happy to help him onto the riding mower, I used the push mower and we mowed, we have a system of team work down pretty good!  The evening was beautiful, warm and summery, the smell of fresh cut grass, Bert and I smiled at each other as our mowers passed.  I felt content and grateful.  

Bert and I met when I was 17 years old and a freshman in college.  We met with a hand shake on the track, it was a late summer day at the start of school, I was touring the sports area with my new track coach and Bert was already a veteran hurdler, an All American...he was a good looking 22 year old.  Bert and I became fast friends, and fell in love running together.  We were runners, we worked out together everyday, we talked for hours about track and field, our goals, our dreams, we had fun.  We spent that summer at Kutztown, we took a couple classes, ran and knew that we would be together forever.  Bert and I were both goal oriented, competative, and passionate about sports, life, and each other...he made me laugh every day (he still does), he supported me and wanted the best for me always...he was no romantic, but he was sweet in his own way. I wanted the best for him and we had each others back.  Those college years flew by, Bert graduated in 94, I had a couple years left...we stuck together Bert in the "real" world me earning my Social Work degree.  Bert proposed my senior year, we had dinner at this Chinese restaurant where we had our first date years before...at the end of dinner when the fortune cookie came, I opened mine and my fortune read Jenn will you marry me?  I said yes of course!  We married in the Catholic church where my parents had married, I wore my mom's wedding dress that my grandmother made and then altered to fit me and my style.  We looked at each other and said our vows..."I will love you my whole life."  "You and no other...forever."  We vowed to love each other forever no matter what, in sickness and in health, until death part us.  Our first years of marriage were filled with adventure, I went back to school to be a nurse, Bert encouraged me and was my biggest cheerleader, we ran, we mountain biked, we adventure raced, hiked, back packed the Catskill Mountains, bought our first house and five years in, my senior year in nursing school we got pregnant.  Our Sophia was born July 26th 2002, we were thrilled, she was named after my grandmother who had passed and she was our best accomplishment yet.  Less than two years later came our Alley Cat (as my sister nick named our Alex), we were in love with each other and in love with our children.  We still had each others back.  Bert still adventure raced and biked, the kids and I were his cheerleaders.  And a few years ago when we had the opportunity to move to York, my home town, I was thrilled.  I was coming home, to my parents and to where I grew up to raise my children.  

Our family complete, and now back home, we talked of our future...mostly travel, our kids, their sports...Bert started coaching Alex's soccer team, I was running 5ks with Sophia.  We enojoyed our jobs, our children, our family, our friends, and we were happy.  In the fall of 2012 the scary symptoms of ALS started to appear.  and in November of 2013 we got the dreaded diagnosis offically.  It's always an adventure with us Lange's.  We mourned, mostly the year leading up to what we were so afraid of...when we finally got the diagnosis we switched gears...back to our years of track, of competition, we were athletes, we were competative, determined...we were old and a little out of shape, but once an athlete always an athlete.  We had each others back, we had taken our vows 15 years before and we stood by them.  ALS was just a hurdle in front of us and we had both been to Nationals in the hurdles before.  On that ride home from Johns Hopkins we made a promise to each other, we took new vows, we could do this, we could show our children that this does not have to be the end.  We made a pact,we would face this f*&er and find the positive at every turn.  We had figured everything else out together, we were a team...we understood it wasn't going to be easy we knew this might be the most important race yet, but we were ready for whatever came at us.  So far so good.  We balance each other...we grieve and we support each other, we take turns, when one of us is upset the other finds the positive and we are able to stay on track, in our lane, keeping our form.  Our kids Sophia and Alex fell right into their lane, and had no trouble joining this race...when there is a time like this week when both Bert and I were a little out of sorts because of the new power chair and shopping for a wheelchair van that we did not want, Alex kept his calm and just when we thought he was focused on xbox and not really in tune with us, he said listen mom and dad, you need to remember we are finding the positive and then Sophia chimed in "hey we can do yoga in this big space in the wheelchair van!"  It's not just Bert and me now, we have two other teammates who have our back.  And no matter what we will win this race.

So...on the 16th anniversary of my marriage to the soul that I love who fate brought me to, I am truely happy, I feel more competative than ever, I am content and I know that my team will come out on top.  On that summer wedding day 16 years ago I may not have predicted my future to be this, but hey you don't always get to choose the course, but that doesn't mean you stop running.  I took my vows and I meant them.  I was happy to mow the lawn, I was grateful that one summer later my Bert is still able to mow the lawn even if it is on the rider.  I am grateful for the simple things, our hearts are open, our eyes are wide open, our spirit is strong and we are happy.  So on this wedding anniversary I will go to sleep beside the love of my life and look forward to our next moment together.

A perfect Marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up ON EACH OTHER.

xoxo Jennifer 
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